Rich Grandma Energy: What Shania Khan Taught Me About Doing Less and Living More

What if the life you're working so hard to create is the very life you're too busy to enjoy?

When was the last time you sat down to drink your coffee without doing anything else? No phone, no emails, no scrolling through Instagram, no mentally running through your to-do list. Just you, your coffee, and a few minutes to enjoy it.

For some people, that sounds lovely. For others, it sounds completely unrealistic. And according to Shania Khan, that reaction tells us a whole lot about the way we've been conditioned to live.

I recently sat down with Shania, luxury life architect, creator of Soft60, and bestselling author of Rich Grandma Energy, for an episode of the Create Your Fate podcast. I've followed her work for a while, and after reading her book in two days, I knew I wanted to have this conversation.

What started as a discussion about luxury quickly turned into something much bigger: our obsession with being busy, the way we measure our worth through productivity, and why so many of us have become uncomfortable with the very thing we're supposedly working toward.

Having a life we actually get to enjoy.

When Did Being Busy Become a Personality Trait?

There was a time in my life when my biggest dream was to drink coffee in bed with my dog.

I'm serious.

I was working as a dental hygienist, teaching upwards of 30 fitness classes a week, and building my business. My calendar was packed, my days were exhausting, and the idea of waking up without immediately rushing somewhere felt like the ultimate luxury.

I used to meditate on that vision. One day, I would be able to sit in bed, enjoy my coffee, and not have anywhere I had to be.

Looking back, it's almost heartbreaking that something so ordinary felt so unattainable.

When I shared that story with Shania, she pointed out how sad it is that we've created a culture where having five minutes to ourselves feels like an impossible privilege.

And she's right.

Somewhere along the way, we started associating busyness with importance. A packed calendar meant we were successful. Being constantly available meant we were valuable. And having nothing scheduled? Well, surely that meant we weren't doing enough.

But here's the question I keep coming back to: If the whole point of working hard is to create a better life, when exactly are we supposed to enjoy it?

The Death of the Girlboss

One of my favorite things about Shania's book, Rich Grandma Energy and the Death of the Girlboss, is that she isn't suggesting we abandon our ambitions. She's challenging the idea that exhaustion should be the price of achieving them.

Shania spent more than 20 years in corporate America before reaching a point where she was completely burnt out. She was exhausted, unhappy, and felt like every aspect of her life was being controlled by something or someone else.

Eventually, she decided to change things. But instead of creating another intense self-improvement plan, she did something surprisingly simple.

She decided to be nice to herself for 60 days.

She started with small changes, like sitting down to eat instead of rushing through meals. Then she started sitting down to enjoy her coffee. She gradually introduced breathing exercises and other habits that made her days feel better.

That experiment eventually became Soft60, her app designed around making sustainable changes without overwhelming yourself in the process.

What struck me about her story was that she didn't change her life by demanding more from herself. She changed it by reconsidering how she was treating herself.

And that brings us to one of my favorite things she said during our conversation:

"You cannot create from a place of being exhausted."

Think about how much creativity, curiosity, and inspiration get pushed aside when we're constantly trying to keep up. We spend so much time checking things off our lists that we rarely give ourselves the opportunity to ask whether those things even belong on the list in the first place.

Your Nervous System Might Be Addicted to the Chaos

This is where our conversation got particularly interesting to me as a somatic practitioner.

When you've spent years living in a constant state of urgency, slowing down can actually feel uncomfortable. Your body has become accustomed to the stimulation of rushing, anticipating the next thing, and always having something to do.

So when you finally sit down with that cup of coffee, instead of feeling relaxed, you might feel restless, anxious, or guilty.

Not necessarily because something is wrong, but because the experience is unfamiliar.

Our nervous systems learn through repetition. When stress and urgency become familiar patterns, moments of stillness can initially feel strange. That doesn't mean we're literally addicted to chaos, but it does help explain why changing our relationship with busyness can take practice.

Shania and I talked about how something as simple as sitting quietly for five minutes can become an opportunity to experience something different. You sit down, nothing terrible happens, and gradually you begin to build familiarity with a slower pace.

You don't have to overhaul your entire life tomorrow. You can begin by giving yourself five minutes and noticing what happens.

Rich Grandma Energy Is Really About Permission

So what exactly is Rich Grandma Energy?

Imagine the woman who walks into a restaurant and confidently asks for the table she wants. She wears her favorite jewelry on a random Tuesday. She doesn't apologize for having free time, and she certainly doesn't feel obligated to explain why she doesn't want to attend another event.

She's generous, confident, playful, and completely comfortable enjoying her life.

And here's the best part: She doesn't wait for someone else to give her permission.

Shania's argument is that we shouldn't have to wait until we're 75 years old to embody that kind of freedom.

I especially loved our conversation about doing things simply because they're fun. Trying on outfits in your closet, experimenting with makeup, sitting outside, or spending an afternoon doing something that serves absolutely no productive purpose.

When did everything become something we had to justify?

We've become so focused on optimization that even our hobbies have to accomplish something. We exercise to improve our bodies, read to gain knowledge, meditate to become more productive, and schedule relaxation so we can perform better tomorrow.

What happened to doing something simply because we enjoy it?

Sometimes the point of an experience is the experience itself.

And perhaps that's one of the greatest luxuries we can give ourselves.

You Get to Decide What Your Life Looks Like

During our conversation, I shared something I learned about myself years ago.

I used to think I was a chronically late person. I was always rushing from one commitment to another, showing up apologetically, and feeling terrible about letting people down.

But eventually, I realized something.

I wasn't a late person. I was a person who had a hard time saying no.

I had convinced myself that because I could technically fit something into my calendar, I should. So I packed my days with commitments, left myself absolutely no breathing room, and then wondered why I was constantly running behind.

When I started saying no and leaving space between commitments, something remarkable happened.

I stopped being late.

I hadn't changed some fundamental flaw in my personality. I had changed the way I was organizing my life.

And that's really what I took away from my conversation with Shania. So much of what we accept as normal is simply a collection of habits, expectations, and beliefs we've practiced for years.

But we can choose differently.

We can decide that a full calendar isn't a measure of success. That rest doesn't have to be earned. That having time for ourselves isn't selfish. And that creating a beautiful life doesn't mean we have to exhaust ourselves in the process.

Because ultimately, luxury isn't just about what you own or how much money you make. It's also about having the freedom to enjoy the life you've created.

And maybe that begins with something as simple as sitting down to drink your coffee.

Want to go deeper?

This is only part of the conversation. Get the whole story on this episode of Create Your Fate.

LISTEN ON APPLE OR LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

Before you go, consider this:

Where in your life have you confused being busy with being important? And if you stopped measuring your worth by how much you accomplish, what would you finally give yourself permission to enjoy?

Maybe the life you want isn't waiting on the other side of doing more. Maybe there's already a little room for it right now.